Question Not Yourself
by MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: After a devastating accident leaves him without the use of his legs, Remus has to change the way he lives his life—and the way he sees himself. Luckily, he has plenty of friends and family to help him along the way. Wolfstar Disability!AU Warnings for language, major injury, mentions of drinking and driving, and self-doubt


**A/N: Hey y'all! This was written for Hogwarts. Other prompts are listed below. :)**

 **Arts and Crafts Task 7: Write about an injury**

 **Word Count: 5892**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.**

 **Please Note: This is a Muggle/Modern/Disability!AU. Also, I've never been very close to anyone in a wheelchair, so there may be things that are hideously off—please PM me if this is the case. Lastly, I'm American, not British, so I may unintentionally American this up. Again, please PM me if that happens. It's very important to me that I get the dialogue correct.**

 **WARNINGS: Strong language, self-doubt/self-esteem issues, major injury (paralysis), mentions of drinking and driving.**

 **Enjoy!**

Remus Lupin gazed out the window of the car in silence. His heart was pounding—which was ridiculous. He was a grown man, and had been teaching at this school for years. He was close with all of his students, and he wouldn't give up his place here for the world. He shouldn't be so nervous.

"You know," came a voice to his right, "you don't have to do this today. You can take some time to get used to things before heading back to work—which is what all your doctors recommend. You don't have to do this all at once."

Remus glanced at the dark-haired man in the driver's seat. "Right. Yes, I know that. But I took this job to teach children, and that's what I intend to do. I've been away long enough."

Sirius Black raised an eyebrow, his grey eyes sharp. "It's not like you're slacking off. You have a real, legitimate excuse."

"I love my job," Remus insisted, pushing his brown locks out of his face. "Now, help me out of here. I've got to get to class."

Sirius obeyed, exiting the car. Remus waited as the other man fumblingly set up the wheelchair, then awkwardly let Sirius help him into it. It wasn't easy, and not just because of his useless legs—he'd always been very independent, and he was having a hard time adjusting to needing help with the simplest of things. And here, in the school parking lot, anyone could see the humiliating spectacle.

Remus, however, was still able to recognize that he'd just have to get used to it—and he was wise enough to know that it would only be as humiliating as he let it.

Sirius shut the car doors and pushed him up to the sidewalk. A few people stopped and stared, and Remus, despite being much older than those students, wished he could shrink back inside himself. He'd never done well with unwanted attention, and he suspected that that might never change.

Sirius began the slow process of getting the wheelchair up the stairs to the school, and Remus recalled bitterly how easy it had been to just take a couple of steps and be on his way. He felt guilty for making Sirius go to all this trouble, though he was his husband. He knew that the other man would insist he didn't mind, but Remus thought that it must be exhausting to have to assist someone to the lengths Sirius did every day.

Remus took over once they were in front of the doors. "I'll take it from here," he insisted. "You can head home now."

Sirius nodded, some of his dark strands of hair falling loose from his bun. "I'll pick you up at the end of the day. If you need me—for anything at all—give me a ring. I won't be doing anything."

Remus nodded. He wasn't aware that he'd been nervously twisting his wedding band until Sirius bent down and wrapped his fingers around Remus'.

Sirius looked down at him, his grey eyes boring into Remus' amber ones. "Love, if this is too much, no one is going to blame you. You could always start another day—Dumbledore says he'll keep the job open for you whenever you're ready."

Remus raised a brow. "Sirius, I'm not scared of that building. And I _want_ to start now. I promise that I'll ring you—or James, Peter, and Lily—if I need anything, all right?"

Sirius sighed. "Fine. Okay. But don't overwork yourself, you hear? Even if you have to stop halfway through the day, that's still a huge success."

Remus nodded. "I have to go now. Early morning planning is almost over. The buses and majority of the students will be here soon."

Sirius nodded, then bent down to give his husband a chaste kiss. "Have a good day, love. Ring me."

Remus nodded, watching the man in the leather jacket for a moment longer before gripping the push ring. He took a deep breath and began rolling himself toward the doors of the school. He could feel eyes on him, but he concentrated on his task. He was a respected teacher here, he kept reminding himself. The students liked him. They wouldn't say anything unsavory. Of course, the same couldn't be said for some of the staff.

The thought of Severus Snape was almost enough to make Remus dig out his mobile and call Sirius back, but he continued on. So many aspects of his life had been turned upside down, but he was determined for his job to remain the same. He could do this. All he had to do was teach a class.

"Professor Lupin!"

Remus started, wincing as his back gave a twinge. He couldn't feel anything from the waist down, but there were quite a few places where he had been banged up badly in the accident. He turned his head to see a round-faced boy jogging toward him, dark brown hair flopping in front of his eyes. He tried to smile.

"Neville!" he greeted. "How are you?"

Neville stopped in front of him, a grin on his face. His eyes, though, were worried. "I'm fine, Professor. Are—are you? I only heard that you got hurt…"

Remus' smile turned a bit strained. "Well, that's very true. I don't want you to worry, though. The only reason you haven't been alerted of this beforehand is because I didn't want it to be widespread just yet."

Neville's eyes widened. "No, I understand that. I just didn't know your accident was so serious. Mum and Dad didn't know, either."

Remus had forgotten that Frank and Alice didn't know the full details. He could just imagine the outraged phone calls he'd get this evening.

"Do you want me to push you inside, Professor? It looks hard, wheeling yourself."

Remus hesitated, then glanced at his watch and realized that the bell was about to ring. He thought of his slow pace and awkward navigation and decided that he really didn't want to have to push his way through the crowded hallways—or be late for his first class. He nodded, hoping that this didn't violate some sort of teacher-student conduct.

"Yes, thank you, Neville. Or at least, until we run into someone else who will."

Neville kindly walked behind him and grabbed the push handle. Remus had to admit that, as Neville steered him to his classroom, this was a much faster, more efficient way to travel. The only problem was that it was a heavy blow to Remus' pride, relying on someone to get him to his classroom.

Finally, they reached it, just as the bell rang. Remus looked over his shoulder as best he could, smiling. "Thank you, Neville. I'll see you in a bit."

Neville nodded happily. "Sure thing, Professor. Bye!" With those words, Neville disappeared into the throng of students.

Remus sighed, then took the key from the lanyard in his pocket and unlocked the door. He very carefully wheeled himself in, only barely squeezing through the door. Once inside his classroom, Remus breathed a sigh of relief. This was familiar. This was his home.

Not long after, the students filed in, taking their regular seats. There were talking as usual, but this time Remus couldn't shake the feeling that all the whispers were about him. He finished writing his (very simple) lessons plans on the board, then turned with difficulty to his students.

"Good morning, everyone," he said with a smile. Most of his students were looking attentively at his face, but some with less tact were staring openly at his wheelchair. He had the most ridiculous urge to laugh. "It's good to be back. I'm very sorry for missing so much school—I do hope that your substitute did an adequate job fulfilling the curriculum."

His words were meant with silence, and Remus knew that he had to address the elephant in the room.

He cleared his throat, clasping his hands together. "As you can see, there will have to be a few changes in this classroom. I was in a bit of an accident—"

Someone in the back of the classroom snorted.

"—and will have to adjust accordingly. I hope you will all be patient with me, and keep an open mind."

There were nods all around, and Remus was satisfied. He clapped his hands together. "Now, to get started. Can anyone tell me where you all left off?"

He scanned the classroom for any willing hands, but his eyes snagged on Harry. The sixteen-year-old was staring at his desk, his hands clenched at his sides. Remus faltered. He could see the messy black locks sitting atop the boy's head, but not the green eyes he shared with his mother. For a second, Remus entertained the notion that he was embarrassed of him—but then he pushed that thought away. That was ridiculous. Remus knew Harry, and that was not the emotion he was trying to hide.

Harry had, of course, been informed that Remus had been in a bad accident, but at the man's request James and Lily had not divulged just how terrible it had been. He hadn't wanted to be faced with that just yet—at the time, he had only been able to stand his doctors, husband, James, Lily and Peter knowing. It was simply too fresh. But Harry was a nephew to him, and he wondered if perhaps he should have given him time to think about the changes this would cause. After all, Harry would be affected too.

"Erm," Remus said, his amber eyes locked on to the unresponsive boy. "Actually, I'll find those notes later. Let's… let's take a breather this period. Do you all mind if we rearrange the seats? I'd like to make the place as wheelchair-friendly as possible."

The students' faces lit up, and they all scrambled from their seats. They were looking at him expectantly, but Remus still only had eyes for Harry. Ron Weasley, Harry's closest friend, caught his eye and shrugged, his brown eyes worried.

Remus began to direct the students to push the desks in a different order, but his eyes were on Harry. He wanted to be able to roll up and down their aisles when they took an exam, much like he had before the accident. He reminded them that this meant they had to keep their bags either under or behind their desks, so he didn't run over them. His students all seemed happy enough to obey, but a part of Remus still hated that he had to ask these extra things of them.

They were finished half an hour before the bell signaling the end of the period rang. Knowing he couldn't just let them sit there, Remus pulled up an online review of the unit they should have covered and watched them play until the bell. He rolled over to the bookcase he kept in the corner, lifting his hand to pull their textbook off the shelf so he could begin preparing for the next class.

It was too high for him. He sat back and stared for a moment, his mind whirling. He'd never had trouble reaching anything since he was a child, and, unlike in his youth, he couldn't just pull over a stool to use. He couldn't feel his legs; he couldn't move them. They were completely useless to him now, and he had to get used to being unable to get things for himself.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized just how many things were now out of his reach. Many of his books both at school and home, the cereal bowls, the plates, the medicine cabinet, the higher shelves in the pantry and refrigerator—he'd be leaning heavily on Sirius from now on.

The thought weighed heavily on him.

"Professor Lupin? I can get that for you."

He looked up to see Hermione Granger, an intelligent girl and one of Harry's close friends. He smiled, but thought that it might have come across as rather forced.

"Thank you very much, Hermione. Observant, aren't you?"

Hermione grabbed the textbook, sending a smile his way. "I suppose so. You know," she added, lowering her voice, "Harry isn't upset with you. I think he feels guilty. I convinced him to talk to you after class, though."

Remus shouldn't have felt so surprised that the frizzy-haired girl had read his feelings, but he was glad she had. He was also very glad that Harry had a friend as caring as her.

He inclined his head to her. "Thank you, Hermione. You read my mind."

She handed him the book and walked back to her seat with a small smile.

Remus took a moment to compose himself. It wouldn't do any good to lose control of his emotions in a classroom on his first day back.

The bell rang a few minutes later, and Remus waited for Harry to approach him, like Hermione said he would. When he began heading towards the door, Remus called out to him, but the boy glanced his way and then ran out into the hallway.

Remus' heart sank. Shaken and more unsure of himself than he'd ever been before, he began to greet the next class.

* * *

By lunch, Remus' shoulders were on fire. He was not strong enough to wheel himself about all day, and he was quickly learning that he could not be as active a teacher as he was used to. Aching, he rolled himself out of his classroom towards the break room. He didn't have to supervise the children in the lunchroom that day, thankfully. He grabbed his lunch that Sirius had lovingly packed (though if there was another shaken-up pop hidden in there, he might have to murder his husband—the last one got all over Severus, which had _not_ helped their relationship in the slightest).

Remus arrived at the door to the break room a bit early, frowning at the door. It had been easy enough getting into his classroom—the door swung open easily, and stayed in that position. The door to the break room, however, was much heavier, and it would be a trick to keep it open and wheel himself through.

Remus thought back to what Sirius had said about it being a victory even if he only made it halfway. He was so tempted to give up. His shoulders were burning, his arms were shaking, and he was physically and mentally exhausted. As difficult as the day had been, though, he still wanted to prove that he was a capable teacher—a capable man. Maybe he just needed something to eat to perk him back up.

He twisted the doorknob, pushed it open, then quickly wheeled himself forward a few inches before the door fell back on him.

"Damn," he muttered, hoping no students lingering in the hallway had heard. Before he could try again, the door was pulled open on the other side, and he looked up to see the smiling face of the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

"Remus," he greeted, blue eyes twinkling. "It's very good to have you back. Please, allow me."

Albus slipped in between the wheelchair and the door, then pushed Remus through. Though it was embarrassing to need the help, Remus appreciated the break. The break room was full, and he swallowed thickly. He cared a lot about his coworkers, and was nervous that they'd treat him differently now. He began nervously twisting the gold band on his ring finger.

Albus took him over to the staff table, and sat down beside him, moving his long, white beard gently out of his way. He smiled at Remus as the rest of the staff spotted them and sat down.

"Well, Remus," Albus said kindly, "I must say that you have been missed. I'm sure we're all very pleased to have the privilege to work with you again."

There was a soft snort near the back of the room that Remus skillfully ignored. "Thank you, Albus," he said, smiling. "It's very good to be back."

He spoke a bit more with his colleagues, and he began to relax as he fell back into the familiar setting. He stole bites of the jacket potatoes Lily had lovingly made for him—humming with delight on occasion—and began to feel much more at peace with himself. His fellow professors had much more tact than the majority of his students. They didn't stare openly, or whisper whenever he passed by—

"Yes, it is nice to finally sit down." The oily voice seemed to cut through the room, directly to Remus. "Not all of us have the pleasure of staying off our feet all day."

Conversations halted, and Remus was dimly aware of eyes on him. He gripped the armrests of his chair tightly, almost begging himself not to rise to the other man's bait.

"Hello, Severus," he said softly, his voice deceptively pleasant. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Severus Snape's lips curled into a sneer. "Not nearly long enough, Lupin."

Remus nodded curtly. "Well then. Thank you for sharing your opinion." He turned to the nearest person on his right, who just so happened to be Filius Flitwick. "So, Filius, tell me how—"

"Lupin, I really must know," Snape began, black eyes glittering over his large, hooked nose, "how Black is taking this. Does he enjoy being your babysitter?"

"We're thirty-six, Severus," Remus responded cooly. "I highly doubt either of us needs a babysitter."

He was twisting his ring again, and Severus, damn him, noticed.

"And yet," Snape replied thoughtfully, "you still need help getting into bed."

"Severus," Albus cut in sharply. "A word?"

Snape followed Albus out of the room, but Remus couldn't take any joy in the turn of events. Minerva McGonagall, put a hand on his arm and looked at him sternly.

"Pay no attention, Remus," she told him, her steel-grey hair was in as tight a bun as always, but her eyes were soft. "Finish your lunch, and tell us about your first day back."

He felt ridiculously like a child again, but he did. He rattled on and on about nothing, because if he stopped for even a moment, he would think about what Snape had said and wonder if he really was a burden.

* * *

The rest of the day passed slowly. He was severely shaken up by his conversation with Snape at lunch, and he was sure it showed on his face. Many of his students shared worried looks when he saw them, but none were nosy enough to confront him about it, for which he was grateful.

He didn't wheel himself around much after his first couple of classes—his arms were practically shaking with the effort, and he kept wondering if the doctors had warned him away from returning to work so soon for good reason.

But he taught. It wasn't a lot of work, and most of it was review, but he still pushed his students to do their best, and he was proud of himself for that. They were good kids, he knew. Helpful and bright, and very considerate.

Still, he was extremely relieved when the end of the day came.

Sirius didn't say anything as he picked Remus up, sensing that something was wrong. Once they got to the car and Remus was safely inside, Sirius turned to him.

"Remus. How was it?"

Remus smiled tiredly. "Harder than I anticipated," he admitted, "but I'm still glad I did it. I missed those kids."

Sirius smiled fondly, then leaned over to press a quick kiss against Remus' cheek. "Well, I've got a treat for you. James and Lily wanted to celebrate your first day back."

Remus didn't want to sound ungrateful, but he really, really hoped that they would be going straight home. "Are they coming over for dinner, then?"

Sirius shook his head, pulling out of the parking lot. "No, we're meeting them and Peter at the cafe near our house. That all right with you?"

Remus rubbed his shoulder, wincing at the pain. "Yes. Yes, that's fine. You, er… you'll have to help me, though. I'm not sure I can move another inch on my own."

He laughed bitterly, and Sirius glanced over at him worriedly.

"Remus, if you're that tired we can—"

"No, I don't want to cancel. Besides, I could use a chocolate muffin."

Despite his obvious concern, Sirius couldn't help but grin at that one. "You and your chocolate."

Remus smiled a bit sheepishly. "I'm convinced it has healing properties."

Sirius barked out a laugh, and Remus relaxed slightly. After a day of floundering and adjusting, he was back in familiar territory.

It was only when they two entered the cafe that Remus recalled Harry's odd behavior towards him. He wondered if perhaps he shouldn't have come. Before he could dwell on it for long, Peter spotted them and hurried over, quickly pulling Remus into a hug.

"Remus! It's so great to see you—Sirius said you've been at work. Quick recovery, huh?"

Remus shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck under Peter's watchful blue eyes. "I guess I was just eager to get back on my feet."

He winced at his own words, and saw the others do the same. He ran a hand through his hair, hoping they couldn't see how much it was trembling. "Shall we order, then?"

Lily—who had come over with James and Harry—was the first to jump into action. "Well, the boys and I already ordered. Sirius, why don't you order for Peter, Remus, and yourself? The rest of us will grab a table."

Sirius grinned at the red-haired woman. "Sure thing, Evans. The usual, Peter?"

Peter nodded, and Lily rolled her green eyes, barely resisting telling Sirius off for using her maiden name. She looked at Remus.

"Your husband is incorrigible."

Remus laughed. "That he is. But I love him anyway."

Peter—without having to be asked, much to Remus' relief—helped Remus over to a table. It was there that they greeted James, whose black hair was still defying gravity, and Harry, whose eyes were downcast.

Sirius came back shortly with the rest of the food, and then James began to ask _questions._

"So, Harry," he began. "How was school? Nice having Remus back, eh?"

Harry glanced up at his father and nodded; Remus became very interested in his food.

"Yeah, Dad, it was great."

James frowned slightly, his hazel eyes worried behind his glasses as he noticed his son and friend's reactions. "Well, what did you do?"

Harry shrugged, taking a large swallow of his coffee. "Rearranged desks and stuff. Reviewed what we'd learned. It was the easiest class we've ever had."

Remus flinched, and every other adult at the table turned to stare at Harry in disbelief.

"Harry James Potter," Lily warned. "You watch your mouth."

"And what did you expect?" James asked, uncharacteristically angry. "To be launched right back to where he left off?"

"James," Remus interjected quietly, "it's okay. It's hard on everybody, and he just needs time—"

"No," James interrupted. "This is hard on _you_. It's only difficult for the rest of us because we have to watch you get hurt. And dammit, Harry is _not_ making this harder on you than it has to be."

"You're the ones who didn't tell me what really happened!" Harry burst out, but quietly enough that their conversation was still private.

"But we did," Sirius said. "We told you he'd be in a wheelchair."

"But you didn't tell me why," Harry argued. "You made it seem like he could get better. But when Remus came to class today, all he talked about was making permanent changes to the way we did things."

"Remus didn't have much of a choice, though," Sirius said lowly. "This isn't his fault, Harry."

Peter jumped in. "Harry, Remus just wasn't ready to share the details with you yet—because this is a hard thing to come to terms with. You know, nobody else would have gone straight back to work like he did. You should be proud to have a teacher this dedicated to you and your classmates."

Remus closed his eyes. "Everyone—"

Harry's head snapped up to face Peter. "I'm not _ashamed_ of him!"

"Well, you're acting like it!" Sirius hissed, his eyes cold.

Harry blanched, his eyes widening. He glanced guiltily at Remus, and the older man hurried to fix the situation.

"Harry, that's not what I think. I know this is difficult for you, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth sooner. You see, I'm—" He swallowed. "I'm paralyzed from the waist down now. I can't move, and there's not much anyone can do about that. Today was more to ease me back into the swing of things than you, and I'm sorry that that wasn't ideal."

Remus turned to Sirius. "Let's… let's go home now." He winced, rubbing his shoulder, which was twinging again. "I'm tired."

Sirius nodded, avoiding looking at anyone. Remus felt terribly guilty for being the cause of the argument. Sirius and Harry had always, _always_ been on the same side, and he didn't want to think about how he might have damaged their relationship.

The car ride home was spent in silence. When they pulled into the driveway, Remus said, "I'm sorry you have to do all this. I want to be able to help you, but I just… I can't."

Sirius cupped his face, gazing at him with solemn grey eyes. "You're not a burden, Remus. This is an adjustment, sure, but even though some day will be hard, that doesn't mean I love you any less. I'm happy to do this for you."

"Life is a bargain," Remus murmured, looking away. "You give some and get some, take some and… I think I might be doing a lot of taking in the future."

Sirius leaned over and kissed him, his hands digging through Remus' brown locks. "You're giving me just as much. You might not see it, but I do. Now, come on—let's go inside."

Sirius helped him out of the car, and they started up the driveway—and then Sirius stopped.

Sitting on their porch, his black hair a mess and grey eyes dull, was none other than Regulus Black.

The three men stared at each other. Then Sirius suddenly jerked the chair forward, and Remus frantically gripped the armrests, lest he was jostled out of his seat.

"What the _hell,_ " Sirius spat, glaring at his younger brother, "are you doing anywhere near my home?"

Regulus stood up, his face pale but his eyes defiant. "Sirius, I need help. I—"

"You want me to help you?" Sirius asked in disbelief. His face twisted into a scowl, and Remus frowned. "Sorry, but you lost all rights to claim my help when you stayed with our parents. You had a choice—and now I'm making the choice not to listen to you. I have someone I need to help right now, so _get off my property._ "

Regulus stayed where he was, and Sirius began marching towards him. Remus grabbed the back of his shirt, halting his husband.

"Sirius, it can't hurt to hear him out, can it?" he asked. He knew that there was a lot of bad blood between the brothers, but he also knew that there had been a time when they'd been closer than anything.

"Yes!" Regulus said, his eyes locking onto Remus. "Listen to—er."

"Remus Lupin," Remus offered.

Sirius stepped closer to Remus, raising an eyebrow at Regulus. "Remus Lupin-Black."

Remus looked at his husband in surprise. While that was their official name, they rarely used it. Remus didn't want his students to use it, as it was a mouthful, and Sirius claimed that he didn't like the Black name associated with Remus. They had really only hyphenate their names in case they adopted one day—which seemed impossible now, but they wanted to have the same name as any possible children.

Regulus' jaw dropped, which Remus admitted was amusing. He wondered if anything had ever left the youngest Black so speechless before.

Sirius took that moment to push Remus to the front steps, then awkwardly tried to get him up. His anger was making it more difficult, though, and Remus' knuckles were white from gripping the arm rests too tightly.

To his surprise—and Sirius' outrage—Regulus grabbed the front of the chair.

"I'll help lift him," he said. "We can get him inside, but you have to hear me out."

Sirius ground his teeth. Remus frowned. "Sirius, Regulus, don't involve me in—"

"Fine. But you better not drop him."

Remus bit his tongue, but he glared at his partner. The only reason he wasn't expressing his anger was because the brothers were going to talk, which could help Sirius—and that was in Remus' best interests.

Thankfully, he wasn't knocked out of his chair. The brothers worked well together, and brought him inside quickly. Though Sirius didn't want him to, Remus left them alone to talk. He wheeled himself to their bedroom, though his shoulders and back ached terribly, and picked up a book off of his bedside table. When Sirius was ready, he'd come.

An hour later, he did. He was tugging on his hair, a nervous habit of his, and was looking at Remus strangely.

"Is… is it all right if Regulus takes the guest room for a while?"

Remus nodded. "Of course it is."

There is was again, the silence. Then—

"Mother and Father are dead. Regulus said they've been gone for a few years now. That group he joined, the one that discriminates against any minority group—he's left it now. Said the leader began to get violent… that it wasn't just talk anymore."

Remus sucked in a breath, his amber eyes widening. "Shouldn't he go to the police? Tell them what he knows?"

Sirius sighed heavily, sitting on their bed. "He won't, not yet, anyway. He knows he'll have to eventually, but…"

"He needs time," Remus murmured. "I understand."

Remus looked at his husband closely, then guessed what he was thinking. "He's not an evil mastermind, Sirius. He's your brother. If he was planning to hurt us, then he'd have done so already."

Sirius didn't respond, and Remus sighed. "Let's get to bed. It's getting late."

Sirius nodded, but he still didn't speak.

* * *

 _Rain was pounding against the windshield as he drove, and the road was illuminated briefly by a flash of lightning. Thunder rumbled, and Remus considered pulling over; it was getting dangerous._

 _Just when he'd made up his mind to stop, lights blinded him. A moment before they overwhelmed him. Then he was weightless, flying through the air—and then pain like he'd never before experienced erupted through him, taking all of his senses and drowning him._

 _He learned later, in the hospital, that the other driver had been drinking. He didn't know why they had bothered telling him this. It didn't change anything._

 _He couldn't change anything._

* * *

Remus eyes flew open and he gasped, still halfway stuck in the dream. He couldn't sit up or get water, and after a moment of flailing, his head dropped back down to his pillow. His face was damp with sweat, and his skin was clammy. He reached out and grabbed Sirius' hand, then closed his eyes. He didn't want to wake the other man up, but needed the comfort.

It took a few minutes, but he fell back into an uneasy sleep.

When he woke up several hours later, Sirius was already up and dressed. Glad it was the weekend, Remus smiled tiredly at his husband. "Good morning."

Sirius turned around and grinned back. "Morning! Look what I've got you."

He grabbed something off of their dresser, and Remus raised a brow when he saw the periwinkle box. "Donuts?"

"Hey, even Regulus admitted he liked them. And look! All chocolate."

Remus laughed and took one gratefully. He asked the other man to give him his computer, and Sirius did so gladly. Remus worked for a while as Sirius began watching a movie, and then he opened up his email. His eyes widened when he saw the number in his inbox. He panicked for a moment, wondering what was upsetting his students so—they normally only messaged him if something was wrong. He scrolled down to the first message and began reading.

 _Professor Lupin,_

 _I wanted to tell you how happy I am that you're back! I've missed you a lot, and am glad that you're recovering from your accident well. As you know, I am graduating from school later this year. I've loved your classes immensely, and I was very frightened when I heard that you were hurt._

 _Throughout the years, you have always been someone that I felt I could go to for help or advice, and all of my fellow classmates that I've spoken to agree. I've learned a lot from you, and not just inside the classroom. You've always proven yourself to be a dedicated teacher, but that really came through today. I know that your injury was serious, and I could tell that you were very tired when you arrived at school, and much more so by the end of the day. I wanted to thank you for coming in to help us._

 _You're passion about your subject and kindness to your students has really inspired me. I want to pursue a career in teaching, and I believe that most of the credit goes to you. Thank you again for all that you've done for us, and I hope that your recovery is fast and smooth._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Penelope Clearwater_

Remus couldn't help the warmth that flooded him then. He looked through all the other messages and saw that most were very similar. He practically glowed with pride; he'd gone into teaching to help educate students, and maybe make an imprint on a few lives in the process. To see that he had accomplished his goal filled him with a kind of happiness he'd never felt before.

Remus turned to his husband, beaming. "So, are you and your brother getting along?"

Sirius paused his movie, then rubbed the back of his neck. "Sort of. He's going to start looking for an apartment, but I told him we could meet up occasionally. The leader of that gang he was in… we're concerned about him. He's agreed to talk to the police later this week, but he didn't look happy about it."

"He'll be okay," Remus assured him. "We'll help him get through this."

Sirius bit his lip. "Actually, Remus… he's offered to help us get through this too."

Slowly, Remus put down the donut. "What do you mean?"

Sirius took a deep breath, then held Remus' hands in his. "He wants to help pay expenses—hospital bills, construction bills for the additions we're going to make, and more—as both an apology and a promise."

Remus shrank back. He didn't really like the idea of having Regulus help him through their expenses, even though it wouldn't be easy to pay for everything. Paralysis wasn't cheap.

Sirius correctly interpreted the look on his face. "Life is a bargain, Remus," he reminded him. "Regulus wants to give this in return for our help… and I say we let him."

Remus nodded. "Okay. Tell him… tell him thank you."

Sirius' wide grin chased away the remaining doubt in his mind.

 **A/N: Prompts:**

 **Writing Club:**

 **Character Appreciation: 2. (group) Marauders** **(Sirius is featured)**

 **Disney Challenge: Songs 1. How Far I'll Go — write about someone who wants to do something, but can't.**

 **Lizzy's Loft: 5. Jessica Kellgren-Fozard — Disability!AU (10pt bonus)**

 **Book Club: 11. DeVante — (character) Regulus Black, (word) nosy,** **(dialogue) "[Name] didn't have much of a choice, though."**

 **Showtime: 7. Tevye's Dream — (word) bargain**

 **Amber's Attic 12. Dead Poets Society — write about a professor inspiring his or her students (5 bonus points)**

 **Lyric Alley: 17. To say or do whatever I please**

 **Ami's Audio Admirations: Lucretia — write about doing the wrong thing for the right reason**

 **Sophie's Shelf: 15. Jacket potatoes**

 **Emy's Emporium: 9. Boots — Alt. Write about someone with no tact (bonus)**

 **Angel's Arcade: 5. Dr. Neo Cortex — (word) mastermind, (weather) lightning, (color) periwinkle**

 **Bex's Basement: 14. Doctor Strange — Write about someone having a devastating accident**

 **Film Festival: 2. (object) box of donuts; 6. (dialogue) "I love my job."**

 **Fantastic Beasts:**

 **11\. Boggart — (word) scare;** **99\. Zambia — (weather) thunder**


End file.
